LET ME GUESS
BOSS approaches EMPLOYEE at the latter's cubicle.
BOSS
Jim, I've got bad news.
EMPLOYEE
Ooh! Let me guess. I'm great at guessing!
BOSS
I should just tell you. It's about your job.
EMPLOYEE
No more clues! Ok, about my job. Does this involve how
awesome my suits are?
BOSS
It does not. Look, let me just tell you...
EMPLOYEE
(waves that off)
Ah! Ah! Um, is it about how I have
been bringing in lunch from home and cooking it here and how great I am for
that?
BOSS
No. It's about the existence, or not, of your current job...
EMPLOYEE
Shh! Shh! You're ruining this! Does your news involve the
word "marathon?"
BOSS
No! Look, ask me about the recent quarter, and how little
money we made as a company.
EMPLOYEE
That's not a yes or no question! Here's a yes or no question:
"Does your news involve me doing more puppet shows?"
BOSS
No. Look, ask a question about whether or not you are fired.
EMPLOYEE
That sounds like a shot in the dark. Waste of a question. How
about "Does the announcement involve an animal or mineral?"
BOSS
I don't know. Look Jim, the market has taken a beating...
EMPLOYEE
DOES THE ANNOUNCEMENT INVOLVE AN ANIMAL OR MINERAL?
BOSS
You're fired, Jim! You're fired. You're a fine worker but we
have to make cutbacks and you were the most recently hired, and so you're the
first to go. I'm sorry. Today is your last day.
EMPLOYEE
Wow.
BOSS
Yes, I'm sorry. It's not just you. Bill was also fired.
EMPLOYEE
How many questions did it take Bill?
BILL pops over the cubicle. He has sock puppets on his hands.
BILL
Five!
BLACKOUT