When my friend F. Amos Jester told me he had finished War and Peace, I soon began reading it myself. Not because Jim had recommended it, but because I couldn't stand that I, an honors gradaute in English, had not read the book, and Jim, who graduated with a double major of Political Science and English (non-honors), had.

You should know, faithful reader, that during the ten years we've known each other, Jim and I have yet to find an arena so insignificant we don't feel it's worth competing over, including basketball, Monopoly, the CD-ROM adventure MYST, video football, fake stock markets, chess, and quality of put-downs in our EMails.

A year has passed. I have worked my way through 900 of 1400 pages (paperback edition). Recently, Jim heard that I had failed to complete the novel after one year, and began reading it again, hoping to finish the novel a second time before I read it once, thus "lapping me" in a literary sense. I have vowed to prevent this from occuring and am prepared to renew my reading pace with great fervor. Jim and I have agreed to document the race on-line.

Each block represents 10% of the book

Will's book, a paperback edition, is 1444 pages.

Jim's, a hardcover edition, is 696 pages.

Original draft of page includes a description of Jim's college major as a "watered-down combination of Political Science and English."

Jim angrily refutes: "Let's set some things straight. I actually took 36 credits of 200 level English classes...so there was no "watering down" of my studies thank you."

Will removes "watered-down" comments, and inserts comments that Jim is completely bald (a lie).

Jim refutes again. Will relents. The contest begins.

(Will 67%, Jim 20%) Contest begins. Will has a sizable head start, though Jim has read the book before. Before the contest begins, the following EMails are exchanged:

Will: "Jim will not fully read the book, but will skim his way to a hollow victory."

Jim: "I'm not going to skim the book the second time through. If truth be known, I could have finished the book in the time it has taken him to get the contest set up."

(Will 76%, Jim 35%) On the 17th, Jim reads at lunch, and then accuses Will of neglect when he doesn't update the site before the end of the day. The follow EMail exchange occurs:

Will: "I wish I had a cushy job....you'd be toast!"

Jim: "Cushy job my ass. I read during my lunch hour, which I'm entitled to take. I also put in hours yesterday on a paid holiday, so stop bellyaching. "

Will: "How many hours on the holiday? 10, like me?"

Jim: "Your complaints are an obvious attempt to place blame on current work schedules for your performance as related to War and Peace. You've had plenty of time and now you're going down."

That night, Will calls a few friends and asks them to call Jim in order to stall his reading.

(Will 82%, Jim 58%)

Jim: "I'm making a good show of it even if I don't beat you."

Will: "I can't believe it's taking you so long, if you've already read this book!"

Jim: "WHAT!! How can you even cast around accusations of taking a LONG TIME to finish War and Peace. On my current schedule I will finish War and Peace in 1/52nd of the time it has taken you."

(Will 89%, Jim 80%)

Will: "I bet your book is an easier translation. Does your book include the epilogues?"

Jim: "What part of the ENGLISH translation that you are reading is giving you trouble? You've got egg on your face, and it's not Fabrige."

(Will 100%, Jim 100%)

Will finished at 7:30 pm, Jim at 11:40 pm.

Will's edition had an extra epilogue, which he did not finish until Saturday. So for a few minutes on Saturday morning, Jim phoned and thought he had won. Then, an intense cross-examination from Will revealed that Jim's book did not have this final epilogue (a collection of essays by Tolstoy on how to study history) and was therefore a slightly shorter edition. After a brief discussion, they determined that Will had finished all but that final epilogue at 7:30, and had won.

Jim noted that for all intensive purposes, the contest was a "dead heat" -- a tie. Will refused this interpretation, and claimed the victory for himself.

Will: "After taking a year to read the first 2/3 of the novel, a petty competition drove me to complete the remaining 1/3 in four days. I read on the train to and from work, in addition to two four-hour reading sessions on Tuesday and Thursday, and a two-hour session on Wednesday. In the final stretch on Friday, aware that Jim was closing in, I read the last pages in a crowded bar in downtown New York, while waiting to watch a friend's theater group to perform. In a room of pierced nipples and shaved heads, I was clearly the most bizarre, sitting in a corner alone reading War and Peace. I want to thank Jim for this chance to confirm what a petty jerk I am at heart, and for losing."

Jim: "First of all, I would like to point out that I didn't lose. I finished the book first several YEARS ago, the second time through was an attempt to find some petty amusement in Will's reactions had I finished first. I'd also like to point out that I did not skim my way through my second reading and I'd invite any of you to quiz me on the events in War and Peace if I'd thought any of you had actually read it yourselves."