Mary Anne was a dumb bunny. Never play games at work. It wrecks the illusions of productivity that people want to believe in. If you're writing e-mail, you're writing, and it looks professional. If you're surfing the web for information, you're looking for information, that's professional and looks fine. But if you're swivel-turning and slide-shuffling to blow away Doom critters, you're playing the wrong game.

alex

Alex actually sent a much longer letter, if you're interested. -ed.

Truly amazing. I first heard of Spite in the Internet Underground article you mentioned, and now as I get around to checking out your 'zine, I find that you claim IU to be out of business. After I had sent in my money for a subscription, of course.

Anyway, Spite is great fun. The Huey and Das Spot articles were terrific. One question, though: How does Greg feel about your MMMMBop Hanson meter? Was his Huey article the equivalent of holding a mirror to you guys?

Slanted and Enchanted,
Servo

Greg's piece does serve as a response from people who think the MMMBop meter is snobby and pointless, but that's a happy accident. We posted it only because it's funny to see someone become angry about fans abandoning Huey Lewis. -ed.

I just read the Huey article. I'm glad someone said it, Mannnn. The Huey's and the Babyface's of the world have been slandered long enough. Fuck Nirvana... Bring on Kenny G!

-Winin' and Dinin' D.

Finally, Spite Magazine has united the two people on Earth who like both Huey Lewis and Babyface. Two questions; isn't the plural of Huey 'Hueies'? And is Kenny G related to Warren G? -ed.

Anyone who has EITHER Michael Jackson OR Jethro Tull in a CD rack is insane.

Chris T.

You expect us to believe there are people who don't like Tull? Next, you'll be insulting Deep Purple. -ed.

This business about Jethro Tull mystifies me. Not people's opinion of the band, but their categorization of it as heavy metal. Jethro Tull's music is pretty flowery and flute-heavy to be grouped with Deep Purple and pronounced suitable for thrashing. I'd lump it with folksy seventies stuff like the Moody Blues.

A friend, who a devoted fan of heavy metal, has bitterly mentioned to me on numerous occasions how Jethro Tull was given a Grammy for Best Heavy Metal album, beating out Metallica, and how even the Tull band members couldn't understand why they were in the same category.

Do you think it's just the name?

Janet Weiss

I didn't compare Deep Purple to Tull as fellow heavy metal bands, but as fellow big- in- the- seventies- but- now- revered- only- by- out- of- touch- classic- rock- station bands. And as far as heavy metal goes, everyone knows that Motley Crue are the only true preists of the heavy metal religion. -ed.

And another thing that bugs me about web sites lately is not only the fact that they sport their fraternity 'best viewed with microsloth explorer', but it is when they also say 'best viewed at 800x600 in 16million colors with microsloth exploder'. bull. bull. bull. these pages look just fine in 640 480 in 16 colors. why should i care how it looks when it was designed. i care how it looks when i use it. by the way i, i normally run at 800 hicolor but still get annoyed when people say i need to use a high resource video mode to get game cheats or something. sometimes i use a text based dial up system much akin to old style bbs's to get onto the net and am in fact very happy to use the old lynx browser for hours on end. entire pages render in seconds, not minutes. oh and by the way, there are people out there that don't use the darn shift keys unless they have to, like us fast typers. you can still read the message, right?

leobaby

The message we can read. What we can't discern is the meaning of 'leobaby.' -ed.

I did love the Parking Spot. To think that there are other little mini-universes where people worry about parking spaces and play solitaire 11% of the time and buy expensive chairs.

It's positively inspirational!

Sally S.

Jim's remarkable pettiness is an inspiration to us all. -ed. Just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed reading your 'zine. Jim's story (Das Spot) was terrific...we all know someone like Mary Ann and his calm, calculated destruction of her was inspiring.

I'll be passing around your Web address a lot...good luck in future issues!

Take Care
Mike

P.S. I like the spider logo and the Spite masthead...any thoughts of T-shirts, etc. ?

Mike, if you're trying to kiss our collective ass, it's working like a charm. Thank you! -ed.

Steve Jobs and Bill Gates in bed together? Apple and Microsoft? Gimmie a break. Next we're gonna hear that the Newt Gingrich's are sharing a vacation house with the Clinton's on the Vineyard. (And don't get me started on the "Famed and Yuppied" epidemic on the Vineyard...)

Keep in touch.
Massmedia'd

MM is a Spite Correspondent, who wrote the blistering monologue on -- what else? -- mass media. -ed.

On the Talia Sher piece, how about "Contact"? The only two respectable "guys" in that movie are women! The men in that movie are:

--a wimpy Luddite neo-hippie
--a weasely chief scientist who tries to screw Jodi Foster
--a blow-up-everything National Security guy
--a blow-up-everything religious fanatic
--dead (Foster's father)

Also, Sher mentions "2001: ASO"...I don't recall a single woman anywhere in that movie, except one Russian on the moon briefly and Floyd's daughter on the videophone.

Christopher T.

Talia replies:
I haven't seen Contact -- I heard it wasn't that great -- but movies in which either gender is depicted as a race of brain-dead oafs are not acceptable. I am just arguing that women more often get the short end of this stick than men.

As for 2001, I have no problem with an all-male cast (or all-female cast) if the setting warrants it. At the time that movie was made, All-American astronauts and most aerospace workers were men, so that's just realism, not sexism... just as it would have been odd and certainly a token gesture to cast any actresses in The Hunt For Red October, a movie that takes place almost entirely aboard military submarines. Likewise, a movie about the patrons and operators of a beauty parlor, like Steel Magnolias, would have a cast of women (unfortunately, this is another movie that indulges in a little male-bashing).

(Yes, it's true. You have just witnessed the first intelligent exchange ever to occur here in Spite. I'm as stunned as you. - ed)

I agree with your article. However, I propose a more subversive approach. I think I shall create a especially noxious little site within one of mine. You know one that constantly slams MS, has some disgusting pictures in it, and extremely bad, tacky HTML. You know like tons of different colors in the test, all right justified, and everything blinking. And it shall proudly display the Microsoft label. If enough people do that, they will have to rethink this strategy.

John Hughes (webmaster for an awful lot of damn sites)

Thank you, John. We're all a big fan of Sixteen Candles here, and your letter means a lot. Plus, I think you're the only one who read my Microsoft article. -ed.