I was afraid...er, worried...uh, concerned...um, anxious....damnit, I couldn't sleep at night -- wondering when the next issue of Spite would be out. Thought I'd have to wait until 98. Praise allah, zeus, god, goddess, buddha, odin, and anyone else I missed. Spite's back!

Okay, okay - I loved it. Well, mostly I loved it.

Yeah, Clark (almost a trust fund baby) Adams is funny, but "honesty" will not save him. (But you already knew that.) What might save him is a year or two of near poverty...No, not true, no-food-on-the -table, live-in-a-cardboard-box poverty -- too dramatic. He'd just milk it for another column. No, he needs to experience the middle class kind of poverty....where you're not really ever sure you can pay the mortgage and put gas in your car so you can commute to your job that doesn't pay enough for you to support your kids (no less buy them the Pierre Cardin attache'...), and you have to practically sell your hair (or in Clark's case, your already-spoken for testicles) to buy Christmas presents for your kids at K-Mart (even though you wish you could be shopping at Eddie Bauer....), and even though you have two college degrees, you're still broke....(Hey, by the way, what's the record for most parenthetical statements in one paragraph???)

Well, almost 500 words there -- didn't mean to get carried away, but I think I owe Spite a new piece, and Clark (and that New Year's whiner person) have given me the inspiration. Yep, gonna start thinking about a piece about real things to whine about. Real things like we whined about in the 60's. Like running out of paraffin when your tie-dye was almost done. Like being out of rolling papers and the convenience store is closed. Like having to get out of your chair and walk over to the TV set each time you wanted to change channels because remotes weren't invented yet. Like...well, I'll think of more stuff. Will keep you posted if this becomes real. Real people. Real problems.

Richly,
MassMedia'd