As Michael Stipe, the esteemed songwriter, or at least, the bald songwriter, once said "Life is strange."

Yeah, life is strange, Mike. Especially for me, your esteemed, or at least your tolerated, editor. Since Spite made its debut in December 1996, my life has changed dramatically. At the time, I was a 26-year-old ex-journalist who was very bitter. Bitter about having no money; about realizing that the only way to get money was to take a boring job; that cool jobs pay nothing; that cool girls do not pay attention to you if you do not have a paying job; and that I had begun balding.

Then, my luck changed. First I met a girl, who, contrary to my suspicions regarding all women, remains groovy. Also, soon after I met her, I started a job programming web sites, much more interesting than my former job: Boring Financial Report Editor.

Not only is my new job fun, but it pays enough to cover my bills. And then some. I'm not tacky enough to get into specifics, but let's just say on the Great Financial Highway, I'm leaving most of YOU punks at the last toll booth.

Suddenly, I'm buying sports jackets, and sipping white wine on the roof of the Manhattan apartment building where I live. I take taxis to the corner mailbox, and put two stamps on all my letters - just to show off. I tip strangers for no reason. I threw out my toilet paper in favor of a roll of moist toweletts.

Amazing. I'm almost happy enough to abandon this project and start Sap Magazine.

BUT NOT QUITE!

Because I haven't forgotten about YOU, loyal reader(s), and my obligation to provide a place for to vent about everything that pisses us off! And I haven't forgotten that I put this web site on my resume, so if my bosses ever look here, something new should be waiting for them to see. Otherwise, I might be crawling down from my rooftop to sell my stout, hairy body for money on the street!

Hence, a new issue of Spite. In honor of my recent windfall, we're focusing on money. Remember, no matter what your tax bracket, it only takes one bounced check to make you feel like sticking it to the man.

So we rounded up our circle of witty, intelligent, and emotionally unhinged writers, reminded them how poor they all were, and here's what we got back:

• a death wish for the stock market,
  
• a pox on the people controlling mass media,
  
• an angry digression on Ellen's "coming out" hype,
  
• an incensed commentary about teen pop music annoyance Hanson
  
• an updated policy on the boredom associated with Canada

- Will Hines
New York City, Spring 1997.