Spite presents:

Without Question Red Sox:
This Is Their Year!
(2003 edition)

by Kevin Hines and Will Hines

(Don't forget to see
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 2004 edition - CALLED IT!
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 2002 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 2001 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 2000 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 1999 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 1998 edition.)

Signed, sealed, and delivered. This year the Boston Red Sox WILL win the World Series -- for the first time since 1918. Why so long since the last time? Some blame it on a curse that has haunted the Boston Red Sox since they traded Babe Ruth to their divisional rivals, the New York Yankees.

But look at the Red Sox now! They are an offensive powerhouse that dwarfs every other team. They lead in Home Runs, Runs Batted In, Slugging Percentage, Batting Average, and Hits. Pedro Martinez is once again being considered for the Cy Young and the starters filling out the rotation are doing extrememly well.

Aside from a bullpen that can't seem to hold on to even the largest lead there are no flaws on the team. Well, you COULD point out that the Yankees have, techincally speaking, won the division. But both teams are in the playoffs, so that is now irrelevant. Trust us, the Sox will win it all, and if you need specific evidence, here you go:

  1. The Red Sox Had The Flu. Pedro, Nomar, and Manny have all missed time with the flu. But now their immune systems are kicking into high gear just as the Yankees stop to wipe their runny noses. Sounds like the doctor ordered a 2003 World Championship for the Red Sox.

  2. Lou Merloni. Lou Merloni is a Massachusets born-and-bred ballplayer who played for the Sox until he was traded to the San Diego Padres this past spring. But the Red Sox got him back for the playoffs. So what? Well, with the local boy back in town no one on the team needs to worry about deciding where to go for lunch or an after-dinner drink. Lou knows this area better then anyone. The Sox can relax and mentally prepare for their next game. Uh, bartender? I'll have a pint glass of Red Sox World Series Victories. And keep 'em coming.

  3. The Hulk bombed. The Hulk movie was a big budget operation, relentlesly hyped to be the sure winner of the year at the box office. Hmmm, big budget? Relentlessly hyped? Sounds like the Yankees! Now, Pirates of the Carribean spent not quite as much, was not expected to do well, and involved a story about a curse. Red Sox, anyone? Pirates was by far the most successful live action film of the summer, leaving the Hulk stranded in the desert of underachievment. Our conclusion: two thumbs up for Boston Red Sox as World Series champs!

  4. Numbers don't lie. 2003 backwards is 3002; 300 - 2 = 298. Subtract 100 for the 100th anniversary of the first world series and you have 198. Add another 1 and you have (drum roll) 1918, the last year the Sox won it all. Clearly this is the return of 1918! According to these calculations, the Red Sox as World Series champs just adds up.

  5. Ben and J.Lo. It looks like this super couple's marriage is off. The boys on the Red Sox have now returned the wedding gifts they had purchased for Boston fan Ben Affleck and spent the money on batting cages. Extra practice = World Series. Chicken, beef, vegetable or World Series, Red Sox fans?

Don't bother reading the papers or watching Sportscenter. This outcome is already written in the pages of history.

Sixth time is the charm?

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