Spite: Buddy Holly Was One Mean S.O.B.

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Buddy Holly: One Mean Son of A Bitch
by Bradford Contemporary
Editor, Spite Magazine

True enough - Buddy Holly is probably best known for a few yelps of sweetness like "Peggy Sue," "Everyday" and "It's So Easy to Fall In Love." But make no mistake about it: Buddy Holly was a spiteful son of a bitch.

And we love him for it.

For every "Peggy Sue," there were ten "That'll Be The Day's", in which Holly would simply berate the object of his affections for being untrue or not choosing him:

"That'll be the day When you say goodbye That'll be the day When you make me cry That'll be the day You know it's a lie Because that'll be the day that I die."

Who else but a deeply resentful young man threatens suicide in his first single? Excellent work, Buddy! We here at Spite salute you!

Another frequent trick of Buddy's was to banish a woman to a life of eternal loneliness for not choosing him:

"Think it Over/What you just said Think it over/In Your pretty little head Are you sure that I'm not the one Is your love real or only fun? Think it over/And don't be slow Think it over/And let me know. JUST REMEMBER ALL BIRDS AND BEES GO BY TWOS THROUGH LIFE'S MYSTERIES"

Well, maybe he didn't come right out and SAY "I banish you to eternal loneliness." But we know what he meant.

If you remain unconvinced of my point, just look at Buddy's image: Thick glasses, white blazer and a big toothy grin. The man was a geek, no question about it. Ironically, this look may have helped support the perception of Buddy as a sweet, retiring soul.

HAH! Who ELSE but a geek is the most resentful one in the room? Who else but the bespectacled student in the back row spends all day silently fuming and scheming revenge on all his enemies? WE KNOW, BUDDY! WE KNOW WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH! I mean, those plastic frames might have ensured his place as a pop icon, but we bet they didn't score him a whole lotta chicks back in Texas, you know what I'm saying?

Many people have referred to Buddy's unattractiveness. Waylon Jennings, who played with Buddy on his last tour, has been quoted as saying "Buddy Holly had a big butt." If WAYLON JENNINGS is talking trash about your physical charisma, you must be in a hurting state. We rest our case.

"Buddy Holly had a big butt."
- Waylon Jennings

Buddy also was one of the first rock and roll artists to pull off SOUNDING SWEET while actually SAYING SPITEFUL things. If you didn't speak English, you would have no idea that Buddy was not a fine young rock and roller but a deeply disturbed Texan.

No group pulled sweeter rabbits out of angrier hats (*) than The Police.

Incidentally, the pop group which pulled off this trick better than anyone was The Police. No group pulled sweeter rabbits out of angrier hats (*) than these guys. With the possible exception of "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" they had NOT ONE hit single or even album filler that contained anything less than PURE EVIL. Prostitution, suicide, exile, imperialist exploitation, pedophiles, insanity, or white men playing reggae -- you name the twisted subject, they made a top ten hit out of it.

For the best evidence, just look at their greatest hit: "Every Breath You Take." Ignore the husky voice, muted drums and soothing guitar arpeggios. This song is about stalking a woman, as told from the perspective of a certifiable psychopath.

"Every breath you take Every move you make I'll be watching you... Oh can't you see? You belong to me."

People have used this song for THEIR WEDDINGS, to propose to, to FALL ASLEEP TO! And yet no more sinister song every penetrated the top ten.

We would remiss if we did not say a word here about the New Jersey Nets. I mean, this has got to be one of the worst teams in National Basketball Association history. They've had talent like Derrick Coleman and coaches like Chuck Daly and still muffed it up. We don't really know what these guys have to do with Buddy Holly, but if you want a hotbed of spite and resentment, it must be the New Jersey's Meadlowlands arena. Sucky Nets Logo

Long Live Buddy Holly!- Spite's first spokesman in rock and roll!

Editor Bradford Contemporary prefers his rock idols to have had tragic deaths.

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